This ABC of parenting list came up in a discussion with my husband one night. There are so many abcs of child rearing to being a good parent in this modern day and time. This list is not exhaustive as I am sure that there are many more that you parents can add on.
Here are some a to z of parenting that I have learnt from my experience of being a first time parent which I hope can give you some helpful ideas and motivate you as you bring up your children in this world.
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A is for Acknowledgement. Acknowledging your child’s emotions is important as this validates their feelings. Go down to their level and talk to them by looking directly in the eye. Learn to acknowledge good behavior. Acknowledging your child’s rough day through verbal communication helps them to be calmer and this somehow always makes the problem so much smaller.
B is for Boundaries. Create simple boundaries for your kids to keep them feeling safe, valued and loved. Be firm to enforce these important boundaries as children need healthy boundaries in their life.
C is for Community. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. Do seek out your own village, whether it is your local church, mom groups, extended family members, neighbors, grandparents, siblings, etc as parenthood does not have to be a lonely journey that one should endure. Connect with other parents as you can share your parenting experience as well as learn from and support each other.
D is for Doing your best. You are the best parent that your child can have. Parents only want the best for their children. Avoid comparing how you are doing with other parents as each family is unique.
E is for Empathy. Practice being present and being in tune with your child’s feelings. When a parent is empathetic, they can understand why their child is behaving in a certain way and respond to them in a better and calmer way.
F is for Fun. Parenting doesn’t have to be hard or only about disciplining the kids. Learn to laugh and joke around with your little ones. Lighten up the mood at times by doing a fun family activity such as a random dance party in your living room.
G is for Gratitude. Teaching your child how to be grateful in life is key. You can create a habit where at the end of the day at the dinner table or just before bedtime, the family can take turns to share what each of you are grateful for today. Share with them ways they can be giving to others especially to those who are less fortunate in your community.
H is for Honesty. Being honest with your children about your mistakes shows that you are a human who also has flaws. Admit to them your error and apologize to them if you have wronged them. Being honest and vulnerable about your feelings with your kids encourages them to in turn also be honest with you.
I is for Involvement. Get yourself involved in your child’s life by making time to attend their sporting events and help them out with their school homework. Make friends with their best friends. Invite them to participate in activities that interest you such as being involved in a special community charity. These are some great ideas to develop a special bonding with your kids.
J is for Joy. When you focus on the joys and benefits of being a parent, it makes the experience much easier to go through. You get to see the wonders of the world in a new light through the eyes of your little one. Children have a way to make parents feel love and special and give parents meaningful purpose in their lives.
K is for Keep. It is of utmost importance to keep your word as a parent to your child. Do not promise something and not do it later on. Keeping your word or promises builds trust in your relationship and indicates to the child that he or she is important and valued.
L is for Listen. Practice active listening skills to hear what your child is really saying or trying to communicate with you. The aim is to create a safe space and listen attentively so that your child feels comfortable to talk and is heard.
M is for Me time. Parents need a time out from raising children to recharge, relax and recuperate so that they can be better parents for their kids. I know I definitely need some of this! Some realistic me time ideas parents can explore are date night with your spouse, bath self care routines and Sunday selfcare ideas doing what you love.
N is for Nurture. Nurture and bond with your little one. Speak in a natural, nurturing manner with unconditional love to raise happy and healthy children who will later on grow up to be nurturing parents.
O is for Openness. Create a home environment and healthy relationship in your family that is open where kids feel comfortable to express and talk to you (their parents) about anything and everything that is on their mind.
P is for Patience. Raising a child requires a lot of patience as many times things or situations do not go as per plan and problems can crop up such as your kid throwing a huge tantrum. Let go of perfection to keep your sanity and look at the bigger picture of life.
Q is for Quality Time. Children crave for their parents’ attention especially when they are little. Spend some precious time simply playing with your child, doing a family activity together or 1-on-1 date time with them. They will just love it!
R is for Respect. Each child is his/her own human being and deserves to be treated with respect. By respect, parents should avoid shaming, bribing, harsh punishment or guilting their child.
S is for Strategizing. Work hand in hand with your partner and align on how you want to parent your offspring together. Find out about your parenting styles and support each other through your parenting roles. Children can sense when parents are united and have a good relationship with each other.
T is for Traditions. Teach your children about your family and cultural traditions. You can introduce them to your cultural food, share interesting stories and celebrate traditional holidays. Don’t be afraid to start new traditions with your kids. These will be fond memories that they will remember when they grow up later.
U is for Unique. Know that each child is special and it is what makes them unique. Comparing your child with another kid in terms of their development progress whether academically or for their talent is one of the worst things a parent can do. Our job as parents is to find out what makes them tick as an individual and nurture that so they can be the best they can be.
V is for Values. Be conscious and aware of the values you are instilling in your kids. Parents can develop good values such as kindness and honesty by constantly communicating to their child why a particular value is important and modeling the value for them to follow.
W is for Wings. Give your kids wings so that they can learn to fly on and navigate this world on their own. Support your child so they are equipped with the necessary skills to help them be independent and thrive in life.
X is for eXamine. Examine your parenting ways from time to time whether alone or with your partner. What is working for your family, do more of that! For what is not working, don’t be afraid to learn, explore and find new methods that you can use with your kids.
Y is for Yes. Say yes to new adventures, yes to new experiences and yes to new learning as we only live once. However, do be conscious and don’t fall into a trap where you end up saying yes to everything which can be detrimental to your child. I personally have learnt some of these lessons from watching the Yes Day movie.
Z is for Zoom in. Focus on what is important for your child such as creating a safe space for them to come to you at any time when they need it. Aim to create good habits in your kids. When you zoom in on what matters, you will know which other things to focus less off such as keeping a need and tidy home at all times.
What is your own definition of abc’s of parenting words?